bittersweet

This is one of those weeks that makes you wish for some bright sunshine and sandy beaches.

I lost a friend yesterday afternoon. Really Buddy was more than a friend, he was a mentor and so much more. He died after months of battling to recover from a brain aneurism. Its been a little while since I saw him last but I can feel the emptiness. I wish I had the ability to put into words how I feel but I have the nagging feeling that even that would do it injustice. I am glad that he's at peace now. Trish and the rest of the family can rest, celebrate and mourn. He has joined the presence of his Lord and Savior, what more could any of us want? And so we must move on, a little sadder and a little richer for having known him.

My grandmother isn't doing well either. Really she hasn't been doing well for a long time. Ever since my grandpa died you could tell she was ready move on from this life. Honestly I'm not quite sure what the worst part is. Her health is getting pretty poor at this point. But her memory seems to be going even faster. This summer she couldn't remember my dad's name. Now she doesn't even know who he is when he calls. I guess in someways the memory loss is a blessing because she is less aware of her own failing health. Either way I'm prepping myself for what may be my final trip to my home town.

I know that for Buddy and for my grandma that they have faithfully followed Jesus for the bulk of their lives. I know that death is not a bad thing because they have so much more life waiting for them. That's what makes it so bittersweet. Part of me is happy for Buddy and will be happy for my grandma when her passing comes. But the other part of me is torn up in side at the loss of loved ones. And so I'm shedding tears tonight as I experience the loss of someone I cared for and look forward to another coming loss. God I simply pray now for the peace that you promised us, the peace of heart and soul that faces all obstacles and events in our lives and brings us through stronger and more joyful for the blessings we have from you.