cleansing

I'm not really a big one about making changes at the new year. It seems like its just a big excuse to come up with what are usually unreasonable goals about who you want to be, knowing that you won't follow through for more than a few weeks if you're really diligent.

There is a huge difference between contrived change and change that flows naturally from the actual events of our lives. That's where I find myself tonight. It's been a week of ups and downs. Beween flying back to Oklahoma for my grandma's funeral, Sara going to Montesano for another funeral, stuff at work and one great evening with my SOMA family... there has been a lot running through my mind. It has been a week of really looking at who and what is important in my life. And it is with that renewed awareness that change is brewing.

I am so emotionally drained and raw that it is having a cleansing effect. The beauty of the past week is the way in which it has forced me to find peace in Jesus.

I want to say that I am immensely proud of my sister. She's gone through all sorts of crap over the past year. But she stuck to her goals, her dreams, and now she's moving to Berkely to start a great new job. A new job to mark the start of a new period in her life.

And here Sara and I are starting a new period in our ministry as we join a family within SOMA. Last night was just great for me as I sat at Caesar's house eating and drinking with people that I truly wanted to be with. The desire to return and spend time with them is intense. That is a tremendous expression of what church should look and feel like. I'm really at a loss for words to describe the joy of my heart at this discovery.

I know that I'm meandering through a ton of thoughts in my head right now. It's part of the cleansing process.