morbid?

I don't know, it just seems that the only time I've blogged lately is when something bad is going on. Even I'm wondering about my morbid fascination with writing under such circumstances.

I'm sitting here at my computer thinking about all the things I should be doing, and i just can't bring myself to do any of it tonight. The thing that occurs to me right now is when Jesus told the parable about a farmer sowing seeds. Jesus said that one portion of the seeds fell and began to grow but became choked out by the weeds. Later he explains that the weeds are the worries of this life that in so many ways kill our spirit. I kinda feel like I'm in an all out battle with the weeds. Knowing the battle is a big portion of winning and I know that with God's help I'll make it out of this funk.

road to emmaus

So its really about time I explained the whole emmausmike that I use so much.

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 24, there is a story about two of Jesus' disciples. Jesus has been crucified and resurrected and some of his followers have seen him. Luke picks up with these two walking along the road from Jerusalem to Emmaus which is a town about eight miles away. They are really confused about all that has been happening the last few days. A stranger comes along and asks them about their conversation. After listening a bit he begins to explain why things happened the way they did using scripture. When they get to Emmaus the two invite the stranger to eat with them and at the table they suddenly recognize that the stranger is Jesus.

When I was in college a ministry I served with did a thing called the road to Emmaus every year at the leaders retreat. We would pair up with someone we didn't know very well and go for a walk. On the walk we would share our own story of faith and life and how we got to where we were then.

While it was a great way to get to know someone ultimately it was more about understanding how God works in each others lives and seeing new ways that God has done something that we might not have understood before.

Its this constant growing awareness of the spiritual activity in my life that led me to use the emmausmike name. As we are walking through life all sorts of things take place, some good, some bad and honestly we don't always know what to make of them. It seems like so many of us look at the world around us and things that have happened to us specifically and ask "WHY!?" Why did this happen? What possible purpose could there be in that taking place? And it is at that moment that the Emmaus road becomes such a beautiful image. God comes along side us in some way shape or form, be it through reading the Bible, or a friend, what have you, and helps us to see the bigger picture. It may not make everything ok. Those two disciples still had to fear for their lives. But it is comforting to know that Jesus will help us see why things have happened the way they did and what that means for the future.

bittersweet

This is one of those weeks that makes you wish for some bright sunshine and sandy beaches.

I lost a friend yesterday afternoon. Really Buddy was more than a friend, he was a mentor and so much more. He died after months of battling to recover from a brain aneurism. Its been a little while since I saw him last but I can feel the emptiness. I wish I had the ability to put into words how I feel but I have the nagging feeling that even that would do it injustice. I am glad that he's at peace now. Trish and the rest of the family can rest, celebrate and mourn. He has joined the presence of his Lord and Savior, what more could any of us want? And so we must move on, a little sadder and a little richer for having known him.

My grandmother isn't doing well either. Really she hasn't been doing well for a long time. Ever since my grandpa died you could tell she was ready move on from this life. Honestly I'm not quite sure what the worst part is. Her health is getting pretty poor at this point. But her memory seems to be going even faster. This summer she couldn't remember my dad's name. Now she doesn't even know who he is when he calls. I guess in someways the memory loss is a blessing because she is less aware of her own failing health. Either way I'm prepping myself for what may be my final trip to my home town.

I know that for Buddy and for my grandma that they have faithfully followed Jesus for the bulk of their lives. I know that death is not a bad thing because they have so much more life waiting for them. That's what makes it so bittersweet. Part of me is happy for Buddy and will be happy for my grandma when her passing comes. But the other part of me is torn up in side at the loss of loved ones. And so I'm shedding tears tonight as I experience the loss of someone I cared for and look forward to another coming loss. God I simply pray now for the peace that you promised us, the peace of heart and soul that faces all obstacles and events in our lives and brings us through stronger and more joyful for the blessings we have from you.